Back to the Sheldon
by nothingbutshame0
Summary: A.U. 1998. Boy meets future self. Future self obsessed with a teenage girl. Future self disappears. Boy must investigate girl as only lead. Boy gets frustrated.
1. First Impressions

First Impression

A buzzer hissed and cackled as Sheldon waved a Geiger counter over his right arm. Drums and beeps of Kraftwerk's radioactivity pounding into his years. That and Looking Glass where the only two songs he could fit into his 32 megabyte MP3 player.

It was 1998. The hottest year on record. He was wearing 90% white polyester trying to cope with the constant heat. Also, protected against UV rays with a white bucket hat but more Gallagher then Hunter S Thompson. The Cal-tech plaza was busy that Saturday. Hearing about an up and coming science fair for up and coming high school students irritated him for weeks. Now was his chance to alienate some fresh faces. A big grin developed on face as people paced away from him and his contaminated arm.

It didn't last long though. A girl started to stare in the distance. He glanced at her and froze like a terrified animal assuming she could only see motion. She had long silky brunette hair with striking facial periods. Her proportions stacked like a pyramid made bulkier by an over-sized black dress and t-shirt combo. Panicking he looked into the crowd and glanced back at her to see if she finally left him alone. But the two started looking deep into each-others torsos. Both tensing up. Sheldon pocketed the Geiger counter alongside his gameboy in his over sized tracksuit pants. With a grim look he shut his eyes.

She then sighed and went from cat like readiness to her usually defeated slouch.

Only hearing footsteps. Sheldon tried to cleanse his mind again. Unlike his much of his family and neighborhood the only thing in his religion he could practice was the abstinence. Why even indulge in such a thing? Apart from being an obvious bio-hazard the whole thing seemed like a rampant waste of time.

"Hello". A little masculine Sheldon thought, his eyes still shut. It was an irritable Southern voice too. Like his own without the bass provided by his skull. His face scrunched up in horror he finally opened his eyes. Sure wasn't her. With his peripheral vision Sheldon already picked up a tall yet frail figure wearing a red baseball cap with that old Ronald Reagan phrase, a really cool flash t-shirt and a pair of old torn chinos.

"Mr. Cooper". The man showed his right hand. Sheldon suddenly looked more confused. The man sharing exact same burn and scar as his own right hand.

Sheldon joined hands swallowing but remaining stoic all the same. "And you are?".

"Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper. From the future obviously.".

Sheldon looked away darting his eyes left to right. "Well I've always been aware of the possibility".

Dr. Cooper nodded. "But we did suffer a lot practical jokes in this time period...but you know they never where this sophisticated". As well as this consider that you have never shared this one fact with anyone. You never recorded it either. That memory that haunts you whenever you open a door.

Sheldon raised his voice. "Please stop. I believe you. Good lord I believe you". Sheldon glared at the living skeleton with his eyes wide open.

Dr. Cooper stood up. "Excellent. We have business to tend to".

Sheldon started to follow him. Firing out question after question. "What do we have to do? Are we're rescuing some future defender or humanity? Oh wait. Am I the future defender of humanity?".

Sheldon couldn't stop. "What's the future like?".

"Is there enough oil or food? Did you have a nuclear war? Was there a robot uprising?"

Dr. Cooper stopped and closed his eyes. It would have been clear to anybody else he was in immense pain. But Sheldon couldn't pick up the cue.

"It would make your instructions considerably easier to follow". The boy whined.

"Listen. The new Star Wars franchise is abysmal, people mostly use the internet to share banal and often false information and despite the fact that I successfully traveled back here. String theory was a miserable dead end and. That's all I can fit into twenty seconds now come on". That shut up Sheldon.

In the conference the two hid behind a chalkboard. "Can you see her?" Dr. Cooper nudged Sheldon violently pointing at the girl he saw earlier.

It had to be same girl as earlier. Sheldon thought. Her greasy hair looked like a fire hazard, the eyeliner was also a bit much. "Why is she important?". He asked.

"I'll explain later. Just let her win the science fair".

"I can't".

"Yes you can. It's easy. I just have to hack they're system.". Dr. Cooper approached the organizer's clipboard crossing out the judges name and writing in Sheldon. The judge had conveniently been locked in the basement stairwell.

Dr. Cooper then pulled the shell shocked boy out of cover and pushed him into the crowd.

Sheldon resisted with the back of his feet. "I can't. There are far too many people there and it's dishonest. They're could be twenty better projects there".

Dr. Cooper braced Sheldon. Even from himself he hated it. "Listen to save our world. All you have to do is criticize the at best adorable work of teenagers that don't know they're place in the gene pool yet. There couldn't be a more matching exercise for you. Now go". Dr. Cooper then violently pushing him into the crowd.

"Mr. Cooper?". The secretary read from her paperboard like a script.

"Yes. Let's judge". Sheldon darted his fingers, glaring at the pushy presence of Dr. Cooper behind him.

Of course, he wanted it to be over as soon as possible. "Yawn", "Volcano. Real original.", "Ammonia for cars? That sure stinks.", "Cute you made a website", "Don't insult me". Reaching Amy he looked passed her metallic glasses to that streaky eyeliner. She almost looked Egyptian.

"And your name?". The only contestant allowed to introduce herself.

"Amy Ferrah Fowler" she proudly announced.

"What is your project on. Miss Fowler". Sheldon interrupted while unable to sound any less disinterested.

"Studying the effects of nootropic drugs on a variety of age groups, social and health factors". For ten minutes Amy went on to explain in great detail her methodological and findings for everything from over the counter Ritalin to Russian stroke recovery drugs.

Sheldon turned to Lee and whispered a little too loudly. "This isn't right".

Amy almost started to hyperventilate and flail her arms "I know there are ethical concerns using illegal channels to acquire the drugs as well as testing on partially aware nursing home patients, vagrants and few of the more frequently concussed high school footballers but I did it wanting to know more about what effects the brain".

Laying his hand flat on the air like it was bible he tried to calm her. "Sister. I'm all for raising to average IQ. But this is biology. It's kinda icky". He then made tiny waves with his right hand gritting his teeth.

Amy blinked and suddenly got a whole less defensive. "I'm sorry. But you happen to be a carbon base life-form".

Sheldon groaned and rolled his eyes. "Oh don't remind me".

As she crossed her arms and started to pout. Even Sheldon knew he was in trouble now. The girl was so expressive even he could understand her body language. "And I suppose you subscribe to Kurzweil's cheap science fiction?".

Understanding it Sheldon started to mimic her body language. Badly. "I happen to think Moore's Law is putting us on that path. Yes".

"And you're going to have your mind uploaded?". She couldn't stop nodding passive aggressively if she wanted it.

"And you're going to rot in the ground?". He forced his head up in pride as almost everybody in the room cringed around him. Amy just looked confused.

Her too lips curled. She was starting to win. There was a little self-satisfaction in her wide eyes too. "Do you even know what the mind is? Or how altered it can be after the slightest sign of brain damage or chemical change? People can change completely. Are sure that emulation will be even you?".

Sheldon looked at Dr. Cooper again with a face to ask what was his game. What was so disastrous about the future that he had to put up with this?

Dr. Cooper was motionless with drool coming out of the left side of his mouth.

"Is your associate alright?". Amy squinted tried to inspect Dr. Cooper wondering if she needed a stronger prescription. She climbed on the table. Resting on her knees trying to get a good look at his face as he started to shake his jaw.

Dr. Cooper reversed into the secretary and ran for the exit. Her hands on her knees. Amy twisted her head like an Owl and glared at Sheldon. "Well are you going to pursue him?". Everybody else in hall just observing.

Sheldon suddenly started to chase the most important person in his life. Himself. Only the secretary could stop him. "Hey. Who's the winner?". She yelled at the top of her lungs. Not even out of the hall Sheldon paused in horror and cringed at the miserable task.

His legs pacing up and down. "Amy Ferrah Fowler". He wagged his finger at her.

Stilling kneeling on the desk. Amy rapidly clinched her fists at 70 degrees shrieking "Yes" sharply and loudly. Everybody looking at her as she jumped off the desk to join Sheldon.

Rolling her eyes the secretary then yelled "And the runner-up?".

Almost out his lower jaw stuck out. Sheldon slowly turned around again to poke his head into room. "Ammonia project I guess. But it reeks of the father. Congratulations to you all. No real losers etc. etc. Except the losers of course. Good day". His speech finished Sheldon was finally free to run as if he was being lynched by the Sunday school back in Galveston. Again.


	2. Eye Contact

Sheldon picked up the pace. Amy struggled to keep up gently pinching his shell jacket causing him to come to a grinding halt. His head arched back. Sheldon glared at her intensely. A little vein popping above his right eyebrow. She clinched fist against her lips and cringed. He sure didn't like being touched.

Reminding herself she was just trying to help. Amy responded then responded in kind. "You just missed three possible escape points". She took out a map and used a multi color pen to mark where both of them should search to cover the most area.

Sheldon mouth opened a little. Losing precious seconds Amy closed his jaw.

Sheldon took being touched much better the second time round and even the third time as she shoved the map into his chest.

"Hey". He shouted, dumbfounded. "I don't need a map. I have a eidetic memory".

Amy kept power walking away from him. "You're wasting time" she chimed.

Sighing he rolled eyes. She was right.

Unsuccessful the two met at the rendezvous point. Neither of them saying anything. Knowing neither had to.

Enough blood was running through Sheldon's head for the realize where his future self was hiding. He clicked his fingers and bolted away from her. She was interesting but he had to ditch her. Her being way too involved at this point.

With longer legs, a greater range of motion and more aerobic exercise outrunning bullies he lost her. Walking down the maintenance hallway hunched like cat he felt the blood pulse through his body and droplets of disgusting sweat down his back. The nauseous feeling only got worse as he sobered the gap in the open door. Inside the corner he found his future self shaking and cradling himself.

Sheldon distantly crossed his arms. "What is the meaning of this?".

Future stopped stammering before the kid could pick up on anymore hints or clues. Think that he already done enough damage to the timeline. Or was that just Back To The Future? Fiction and reality started to blur. Reality was always those constants he couldn't change.

Trying to make eye contact. The young Sheldon bent and raised his voice. "What do you want with her?".

Futures eyes moved up as he started to smile.

"What!?". Sheldon shrieked as little crease marks formed around the dimples of future Sheldon. The middle age man starting to look terrified again.

Sheldon turned his head and really shrieked out a cry as he found her behind him. Amy forced a awkward half smile as she poked her hand in a slightly raised her hand at Dr. Cooper.

"Is he OK?". She snappily confronted Sheldon.

Wondering what she overheard. The tension just wouldn't end. Sheldon looked away from her and back at the middle age man in the corner. "I don't quite know...".

Her arms crossed. Amy faced turned very glum. She tilted her head towards the end of the hallway. Sheldon stood wondering if she was just going to leave. This wouldn't be the first time he got a girl to leave the area feeling scared and confused he proudly reminded himself.

With his peripheral vision he was frustrated to see she still hadn't left. She tried to make herself a little more obvious using her fingers to get him to come forward.

"First may I ask how do you know this man". Her whisper was short, sharp, passionate and aggressive.

He looked blankly at her and took a breath. He considered lying. But that would take days to draw up a airtight alibi. He knew keeping this secret was futile too.

Looking jaded he answered. "Well he says he's me from the future. And that all this is some sort of mission".

Her arms crossed she nodded her head like a novelty hood ornament. All at the same time knowing she was way out of her depth. "Sounds difficult. But can you answer my question?".

Listening in future emerged to bail himself out. "He's my nephew". Sheldon's eyes filling with sorrow. He was sure he got away with the truth. "You will have to excuse Sheldon. He's brilliant but his social skills are poor". Future touched Sheldon's shoulder. Amy observed that killer glare from the young man again. He really didn't like being touched.

Waving a finger into the floor above. "I better go and clean up in the hallway".

"Yes you should". Sheldon remarked with a deadpan tone. Wanting all this to end.

"And we should help her". Future smiled at the kids.

"Thank you so much". Amy finally felt comfortable enough to be condescending.

Walking upstairs. Feeling utterly powerless Sheldon just gave the two a homicidal glare from behind.


	3. First Date

**A/N Thanks for the reviews. They're really encouraging. I found switching to first person for this chapter made the writing much easier. I'm bit of a case with dyspraxia so apologies for the grammar and spelling. I ran it all through a few checkers and tried reading a few times. Let me know if there is anything confusing and I will happily fix it.**

I could have gotten rid of her. He didn't even know what he wants minute from minute and next he's introducing himself with my middle name. On top of everything else returning to the science fair was not a pleasant experience. Parents stared at us as we helped the winner. A helicopter mother approached me and asked what favors did Amy offer me to win.

Needless to say I got offended. Shouting "how dare you insinuate something like that".

Amy thanked me seeming a little shook by the exchange.

"Oh no. It was for me. I would never award somebody for their genitalia". I tried to look as disgusted as possible.

"Good to know". I was sure that she was starting to get me.

Looming over us was the man I will forever know now as Lee. I needed to learn his intentions but not in front of her. I worked hard to try to get through this so I could finally grill him. I understood if the girl is important but I deserved more information.

"What do you did you mean cheap science fiction remark? Can't you see how rapidly microprocessors are developing? I say you future brain butchers don't want to be out of the job come 2045".

Lee put his to his face. If I didn't care for what I said it mustn't have been bad. But I still struggled to understand what I said wrong. I knew I was in a world of trouble when her arms were crossed though.

Amy looked up at him and smiled. "Lee get's the absurdity of what you were saying. It won't matter how fast the computer is running. We're so in the dark what makes a mind I really doubt we'll ever have the software. We don't even have properly functioning software today. To use slang. Hip hop is where it's at".

It sounded like a canned internet response. But this kid was confident. Worse still I didn't have a proper rebuttal. So in retrospect I made a ass out of myself by shouting "So I guess you don't care for science fiction".

"I can take some stuff. Lately I've enjoyed Buggers in Spain by Nancy Kress but much of science fiction is escapist fantasy for adolescent boys".

I crossed my arms now. It seemed to be all the rage with these kids. "And I suppose you're spending your time at pool parties snorting cocaine and heroin".

Her face fell flat "First of all heroin is injected. And as for recreation I enjoy writing, playing the harp, embroidery, reading about history, particularly mid-evil, Victorian and frontier times. I also volunteer at a nursing home".

"Well I enjoy living in the twentieth century and staying out of sanitariums".

Even by my standards there was an awkward silence as we put the last things in the boxes.

Lee finally spoke after spectating the conversational disaster. "One minute Amy. Please".

Appearing frustrated with the war of words mind you that she started in the fair she sighed and smiled again at. A little condescending don't you think?

He pulled me away. "I need help in the toilet" he demanded firmly.

"Ask Amy. She does that sort of thing for fun".

He then pulled me aggressively into the hallway. Grabbing me by the collars of my tracksuit jacket "Listen punk. I didn't realize how infuriating I am until I saw it the third person. But you are jeopardizing everything".

I went from feeling triumphant to weak in nanoseconds. "I'm not even sure what we are trying achieve. I have fulfilled by first objective. I have let her won the cockimany science fair. Now what do you expect?". Believe me, I sounded more defensive then challenging.

He paused for a second. I started to question if he knew what he wanted.

Lee finally started "We need to gain her trust. She is very important. I can only explain this to you in phases. Now go in there. Apologize and ask her about volunteer work".

"Is that what is important? The nootropics?". I tried to pull some narrative out of all this.

"Not now. I will explain when I know you will understand. Again we don't have time". He was stern but the anger subsided. How often does you're future self come back to do something important after all?

I went back with my faith somewhat renewed.

"I want to apologize.".

She seemed mousy now. "Thank you". Looking down at her canvas shoes.

"Can I help you carry these to your car?".

"Sure" she smiled softly.

"Do you enjoy volunteering at the nursing home?" It was banal but everybody seemed so touchy today.

Lee stayed within earshot of both of us. I hope she could see how mutually uncomfortable he was making me feel too.

"It can be challenging. There are days I wonder why I am doing it. But when I come home I can't stop thinking about it. Like there are people who get a knock on the head and end up totally different people. Not they're identities but the things that forge they're identities. It's tragic when I see it destroy families. But I admire your resolve to help care for your uncle".

"Sheldon's the best". Lee remarked awkwardly. My eyes shuttered thinking how I was going to keep this charade going any longer.

Amy continued her speech. "I talked to the patient's neurologists and they just shrug a lot. It really a mystery what is going on inside these blobs of fat. Like with this Kurzweil thing. You can have you're brain spliced into millions of ultra thin pieces and scan them. Try to emulate the whole thing but what if one thing goes wrong and you're the projection of a different man altogether? What is prolonged life worth if the people you care about feel like you've died anyway?".

Lee stopped. After two steps we did too.

There was no emptiness in his eyes this time. He didn't freeze. He just winked and ran off again.

With the tips of her fingers she touched my left arm. "I know it must be difficult. Thanks for being so patient with me and my brattiness. Maybe all this recent success is going to my head".

"I wouldn't know anything about that".

She chuckled. I shook her hand "Goodbye. I wish you the best of look Miss Fowler" as I ran after him.

"818-183933". She shouted down the hallway.


	4. Desk Research

I searched every corner of the campus but I couldn't find him. So I consulted the campus police. We watched hours of security camera footage. Only to find him enter a cab in the parking lot at the same time I was searching my usual hiding space. The brain damage seeming like a ploy now to get to her.

Before the campus police could call the real police. I somehow lied to them successfully that my aunt had found him and all was well. I don't know what came over me. I presume I just didn't want to 'rat' myself out.

There was so many questions however. I spent the next two nights researching. Trying to take in the calculated risk. Global warming was a possibility. Apart from a toss up in Kosovo. World war three seemed like a ancient fear. I was sure hydrogen fuel cells will help us go from oil to coal/gas/renewables/fusion easily enough. I knew I was dawdling.

That blasted phone number played in my head again and again. Worse still I could hear it in her lyrical voice.

Damn her I thought. Dialling the number, I closed my eyes in horror.

Her mother answered. After I convinced her I was not her daughter's drug dealer or pimp. She put Amy on the line to try and get rid of me.

"Hello Sheldon".

"How did you know it was me? You're mother didn't say".

"I'm not frequently contacted by boys. How is you're uncle?".

"He is somewhere else. Safe and sound". It was hard to lie to her.

"Good to hear that you getting some relief".

"Yes". I left out a sigh following a long pause.

I started the interrogation. We talked for up to half a hour about current affairs, scientific developments as well as my own desk research on nootropics. I pressed on to open any discussion on a potential apocalypse. It turned into a game of what ifs which turned into alternate histories which turned into counter factual. Suddenly it seemed she was arguing with her mother about time spent on the phone. A good thee hours. My heart was pounding. I didn't think it was possible to have this much fun with a girl.

"Mr. Cooper". She sounded very official all of a sudden "I am convinced you will make an excellent physics tutor. I can't understand umm the Doppler effect".

"That's easy. You don't need tuition. I'll give you a hint "buzzz". You could say I lost the run of myself but it was thrilling to have something to one up her with.

"So I am the understand you are free at seven". She started to speed up.

"I am but.."

"Excellent. Goodbye and take care Mr. Cooper".

At her doorstep I felt so nervous. Her mother opened the door and stormed off into her car. Even I missed the usual greeting. Some clap trap was playing upstairs "Beautiful people, beautiful people. It's all relevant to the size of you're steeple". What do steeples have to do with being attractive. Good lord what did he say about my knees?

She invited me to her bedroom. That made me feel worse. The music coming from her room I imagined some sort of depraved dungeon. I stared at the radio feeling uneasy. The room was dark just lit by candles. I eyed the exits.

Blowing out the candles. She flicked a switched and filled the room with incandescent light. Pressing stop on the cassette playing the noises finally came to a halt.

"I am practising in the twentieth century tradition of rebelling against my parent". She clicked through her collection. "I suppose you don't enjoy Neil Diamond?". She cringed a little at herself.

Firm I said "no, brings back too many memories of home".

"Feelings of nostalgia or resentment?".

"Oh resentment definitely". I couldn't look at her. Thankfully she couldn't look at me. We shared brief guerilla like glimpses our heads craned down. I looking at her book collection and her at her tapes. Nothing of interest in either.

I sat down at her desk and prepared to do some problems with her. She didn't have any real trouble. I wasn't sure where this was going. Our phone call made me so confused. I wasn't even sure what my research question was.

I could feel everything speed up. Not good. Not good at all. I searched for a distraction. Any sort of a distraction from all this.

Her phone rang. Be careful what you wish for I guess.

She answered. Rolling her eyes to breathing. That unbearable tension Lee created coming back to haunt me. "Grow up" she snapped at the caller abruptly putting the phone down.

"Prank call from my peers at school". She looked despondent.

I looked up to the ceiling to thank the god I don't believe in. "Oh". I quickly snapped back into the situation. A silence followed. I look down at a notepad.

With lightening speed she closed it. It was too late. It was a story about a Prairie I presume.

"That's just something very juvenile and silly". She looked into corner of the desk unable to confront me. Her face going red.

"Well I do read cheap science fiction...". I rolled me eyes.

Mortified her eyes where shut "Little house on the Prairie fan fiction. It's incredibly embarrassing".

I nodded "That does sound pretty ludicrous".

She shrugged "Well we're both adolescents. Surely we've both done something regrettable. What happened to you're arm?". Pointing at the burns with her eyes.

I remember then that she was the girl staring at me in the lobby.

"I built a home made cat scanner. Grand pappy was complaining about his hospital bills".

"What happened?".

"Well all my parents complained about the hospital and vet bills. I tested it on my hamster Snowball. He went on fire as the machine ignited and I got radiation burns. I got to fly in a helicopter to the hospital though".

Amy put her hands on her mouth as she tried to imagine the horror.

Numb remember the ordeal I continued. "From then on we had a saying. Not a snowball's chance in a cat scanner"..

Her hand still over mouth she begun to vibrate uncontrollably. Hitting my arm as she bellowed in silent laughter.

"I don't know what you're laughing about. My sister didn't talk to me for a month".

Amy continued rather insensitively. Trying to balance her self off my wrist. Finally having enough "I'm sorry. But I'm glad you're OK".

Noticing my her hand on my wrist. She quickly removed it.

"Well my embarrassing story was cool. It has a helicopter". I looked away.

"Oh yeah?". Amy curled up on the bed kicking off her pumps.

"You're feet?".

"Look closer".

"How did you get this scarring?". For some reason I visualized her in some scenes of die hard. I moved her individual toes with my fingers. Analysing them as if I was a doctor.

"I severed the webbing in my toes when I was 14. I used nitrous oxide cans as a ghetto anaesthetic.

"Kinky". I didn't say that? Did I? I wondered for ages if I did. I am pretty certain to this day I did. We made eye contact. Her glasses dropping to her nose but I'm sure she could make me out. I counted about 19 Mississippi until I thought up something to break it up.

"If you think that's crazy. I got in trouble with the FBI".

She closed her feet off with hands and braced her self for what is to come. "About what?".

"Depends who you ask. But I was looking for yellow cake to build a nuclear reactor. I got many materials around the country for a crude breeder but that would have produced a pathetic breeder. I wanted to go all the way. From watching Back to the Future I believed that Libyans actively sold the stuff. So I looked around the net and before you know it men in suits where lecturing me". I rolled me eyes.

"What do other people say?". That was her first question? What did she think of me?

"Oh that it was bomb or some other nonsense".

"Trying to fission without permission. You're the quintessential bad boy". She smirked looking into corner.

"Is that a rap?". My inner 70 year old asked.

"Yeah I'm all street. I deal drugs". Did she just let that slip? I asked myself.

"You do?". I had to be sure if it wasn't slang or worse sarcasm. Damn you Bart Simpson and the cynicism you instilled into the American youth!

"I actually do. Sheldon". She sighed. "The nootropics. Piracetams, caffeine pills, mushroom extracts. There is new powerful shit coming in from Russia too. Excuse my language. It's how do in the industry. But it all gives a lot of struggling peers in my school an edge. Nobody has died yet either. Though I have had occasional freak outs".

"Oh". I didn't have much else to say. A dope pusher. The Reagan administration told me to keep well away from her type. Why was Lee so interested in her then. But maybe this was a clue. The key to his fascination with her. Maybe he was genuinely brain damaged. Using our genius to develop a time machine before losing his mental capacity altogether.

Apparently a long silence had followed. "Can I top you up on you're 'warm beverage'" she tried to break the ice.

I just said OK. Hearing her go down stairs I rushed for her computer. I got in. I read through her emails. There where emails about Semex along with studies. Success in Post Stroke treatments and brain damage repair.

"Oh god" Amy screamed downstairs. Standing I could hear rumbling footsteps on the floor and soon on her stairs. I tried desperately to close the windows and shut-down her computer. The last remaining applications started to hang I froze up as the door opened.


End file.
